Wanting You
by eternallydepressed
Summary: How long will it take for Ashley and Spencer to realize how much they want each other? ONE-SHOT.


**Summary: **How long will it take for Ashley and Spencer to realize how much they want each other? ONE-SHOT. Spencer's POV. 5 years after SoN Finale.

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**Wanting You: A South of Nowhere Fanfiction.  


* * *

**

Ashley stood up, ready to leave, eyes not on me anymore.

I had to grab her wrist to stop her. "Please Ash, don't do this."

"Don't do what? What am I doing? You knew this was the exact thing I was worried about! And yet you had to do it. Why?" She stared at me, both angry and hurt.

"You know this is a great opportunity for me, why can't you just be happy for me?" I begged her to understand why I was leaving.

"Oh, so now this is about me? What about us? What is going to happen to us when you fly all the way to Europe?" She retorted, her voice much louder now.

I sighed, not really knowing how to answer her question. "I don't know what is going to happen to us, but I do know I won't let go. Just because I'm going over there doesn't mean this has to end." I held her hands as I said it, hoping she would calm down.

She didn't respond. After a moment of silence, she looked down, before saying, "How long are you planning on staying there?" She knew she wouldn't like my answer.

"Indefinitely."

She didn't say anything, she just wretched her hands out of mine and then turned to leave. I wanted to grab her hand again, but I just ended up grabbing air. I knew nothing I say now was going to make her feel better, or stop her from leaving, because I had agreed to leave the country before I consulted her.

* * *

She didn't return to the loft, our loft. Instead, I found out that she was staying with Aiden. I guess she couldn't stand living with me either. I tried calling, texting, going to Aiden's house, but she just shut me out completely. I didn't know what to do. I was leaving in less than a month's time, and the love of my life refused to even talk to me.

Finally, she replied me after ignoring me for a whole week. It felt so much longer than that, though.

_Come over, I think it's time we talked about it._

I read the message again, making sure I wasn't hallucinating. While I was glad that she finally replied, something about the curtness of the message bothered me, Ashley never sent such a message before. Nonetheless, I quickly made my way to Aiden's house.

I went upstairs to the guest room where she was sitting down on the couch, strumming her guitar and scribbling notes on her manuscript. I knocked on the door even though it was wide open, and she looked up to acknowledge me, and then went back to composing her music. She was making it especially hard for me to talk, and I couldn't blame her.

I knew she didn't like people interrupting her while she was composing, so, after looking at Ashley compose for about five minutes, she finally put away her guitar, indicating that I could start saying whatever I wanted to say.

"I'm sorry, I should have talked to you about this before I agreed. I know it's my fault, but I thought you would understand." I tried my best to sound as apologetic as possible, because I was really sorry that I hadn't discussed this with her beforehand.

"I do understand." Ashley said, not looking at me.

For a moment, I was surprised by her response. "You do?"

"Yeah, I can't stop you if you want to do it anyway. It's entirely your choice." Her voice contained no emotion, her face expressionless.

"But I don't want us to end, you know that right? I don't want us to end just because I'm moving to Europe." I told her, pleading her to believe me.

"Yeah. I know. It certainly shows." For the first time since a very long time, there was a hint of venom in her words. It scared me.

"Ashley… Please believe me, I love you so much, I do. I don't want to let you go."

"How is that possible? How are you planning to keep this relationship alive when we are thousands of miles apart? When our relationship is unstable enough as it is even though we live together?" She looked up, frustrated.

"If we try hard enough? You can come with me?" I asked her, even though I knew my last suggestion was absolutely absurd.

"You want me to give up my career just so you can have yours? Hah, and I thought I was the selfish one in this relationship."

I didn't know what to say. I looked at her, and I could have sworn I've never seen her so angry in my life.

"You have nothing to say now? Actually, what's the point, you're going to leave anyway, all these is just so that you can feel better, not me. I don't even understand why I'm even bothering. Just go fuck off, since it's so easy for you anyway."

"I wish it was." I said quietly.

"I'm not going to hold you back anymore. I don't care."

I looked at her puzzled, "What do you mean?"

She took a while to gather herself before saying, "Let's break up."

And I just stood there looking at her, completely taken aback.

* * *

For days I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what had happened that day, in Aiden's house. I wanted to believe that Ashley had only said that out of anger, but I knew that it wasn't simply that.

* * *

"_Please Ash. Don't. I need you, I really do. Please don't." I begged her. My eyes were already filled with tears, ready to pour out anytime soon. _

"_I can't do this. I can't do long-distance relationships. I need to see you, to feel you, to touch you, everyday. And I can't do that if you're not here anymore. I need to find someone whom I can go home to everyday, not someone I have to think about constantly because she's overseas. Yes, I admit I'm needy, and I need someone who can do that for me, someone I love."_

"_Ash, I…"_

"_No, please don't make this any harder than it already is. I don't want the last memories of us to be bitter and angry." She said, before I could say anything. I could see that she was trying very hard to keep the tears in her eyes too. She refused to look at me, in case she decided to change her mind. _

"_Is this really what you want?" I asked her, my voice shaking._

"_Yes." _

_I walked up closer to her, and leaned in to kiss her gently on her lips. She returned the kiss, and wrapped her hands around my hip. She was about to pull back when I suddenly pressed my lips on her, hard. I couldn't stop myself, I needed to taste her, just one more time. I slipped my tongue in and explored the inside of her mouth. She resisted for a second before kissing me back with the same amount of fervor, and pushing me back towards the bed. _

_It felt so good, and I didn't want to stop .It was obvious that I wanted her as much as she wanted me. She was lying on top of me, attacking my lips, my ears, and my neck with her fiery kisses. My whole body felt like it was burning. I rolled over and did the same to her. She gave a soft moan when I kissed her earlobe, as did I when she did the same. God, I've never wanted her so badly in my life. I started unbuttoning her shirt, exposing her bra, as I continued kissing her. I was about to move down and kiss her breasts when she suddenly stopped me. _

"_No, please don't." She sat up. Her voice was weak. She looked guilty, and at the same time, conflicted. _

"_I'm sorry." _

_She looked slightly upset. "No, don't say that. I just can't. You have no idea how hard it was to stop you. I just don't want us to do something which we may both regret."_

"_I don't ever regret doing anything with you, even if it may seem wrong to you, or other people."_

"_Ok." It was clear she didn't want to talk anymore._

"_I guess I should go now. I think I'm moving back with my parents until I fly off. I'll be out of the loft by Monday morning."_

"_Oh." Her eyes were fixed on the bed. _

"_Bye." I turned to leave. _

_She reached out to grab my hand to stop me before I left. "I do love you, Spence. Very much. I just can't do this anymore."_

"_Yeah, me too." I whispered. And I left.

* * *

_

I was packing my stuff into boxes of varying sizes. It felt so strange, to be leaving this loft. This loft which I'd been living in for more than 5 years. I looked around our room, at the pictures we have taken over the years, at the awards Ashley had gotten for her songs, at the posters of the films I'd made while in college.

I sat down on our bed, thinking of the nights when snuggled next to each other, the warmth we gave each other. The nights we spent showing how much we loved each other. The nights that were so excruciatingly long when either of us wasn't there. The nights where I just looked at Ashley as she composed her songs, or the nights where she looked at me as I was working on my film using my computer.

I went over to the dressing table, and look through the drawers, making sure that I had taken everything that was mine out of it. I didn't want to have to come back here. It would hurt too much to come back again after I leave. However, at the third drawer, instead of simply Ashley's belts and long necklaces, there was also a small black velvet box. I would have missed it if I had not reached in deeper. My heart jumped the moment I realized what kind of box it was, it was a ring box.

I opened it, and saw the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. It was a simple silver band adorned with a small princess cut blue diamond. I took it out of the box for a closer look, and found that the ring was engraved on the inside. It simply read: _Spence, be mine. -Ash._

I realized what the ring had been for. My heart broke.

As if on cue, Ashley appeared at my door. "Hey, I didn't know you were still here. I can go back if you want me to."

I turned around, and she saw me with the ring. She looked stunned for a moment.

"Oh."

I had a million questions to ask, but I suddenly lost my voice. I managed to whisper, "When..?"

"It doesn't matter."

I refused to just let my question go unanswered. "Yes it does, you know it does."

She looked at me, contemplating about what she should say. "I got the ring a few months before. I was waiting for the perfect moment to ask you, because I wasn't sure if you would say yes."

"Oh."

"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it? Haha I was going to finally ask you on your birthday, but I guess that that day will never come." Her laugh was bitter.

"Why didn't you just ask me earlier then? Why wait? You know I would have said yes. You are the one doubting my devotion to you, not me." I said with anguish.

Ashley retorted to my accusation. "Devotion? You show your devotion to me by agreeing to leave for Europe?! Is that it?! You never even mentioned it! Not once."

She was livid, I could tell by her clenched fists. I wanted to say something, but she continued before I could. "And don't blame me for not asking you earlier! We are only 24, and you only got out of college not long ago. I didn't think marriage was the top priority, especially for you."

"I said I was SORRY! I know I should have, but I was too caught up in my excitement for the job. I forgot what was truly important."

"God, I was so ready to spend the rest of my life with you. I thought after almost seven years, it was finally time show you how much I truly love you. But no, you decided to throw it all away just so you can further your career." Ashley said. Her voice was cracking by the last sentence.

The words stung, she was right. "I'm sorry Ash, please give me a chance to make this all right again. Please. I want to spend the rest of my life with you too." I begged her to reason things out with me.

"How? By not going to Europe?" She shot at me.

"Yes, I will give it all up. Please. Don't do this. It hurts so much. I never realized how much I needed you till now, never realized how much I want to be with you till now."

Her eyes were cold. "You're too late. You broke my heart, Spence. When I broke up with you, you never said all these. You didn't care. To you, all this while, there was nothing more important to you than your career. You were the one who so willingly gave up our 7-year long relationship."

I hated myself then, hated myself for choosing to break Ashley's heart, and hated myself for blaming her for our break-up, when I had been the one who single-handedly caused it.

Ashley continued, "It had never been clearer to me then, exactly how much I mean to you."

"I never chose my career over you. I told you I wanted to try to work things out, you didn't want to. You insisted that it'd be hopeless to try a long distance relationship. Heh, you don't know how much you mean to me, Ash "

"Yeah, perhaps. But it no longer matters." She said, her voice completely devoid of any emotion.

Before I could say anything, she left.

And all I was left with was her ring, a ring that no longer held its meaning.

* * *

She never sent me off, never bothered replying my calls, or messages. All I know was that I spent my last nights in LA crying to sleep. And then only to wake up crying again.

Aiden had told me Ashley wasn't really any better off than I was, and that she had been going over to his house, often crying. He tried to convince Ashley to talk to me, but was only met with her stubbornness.

* * *

I had been in London for almost two weeks now. It was a nice change of environment, even though the weather was a tad too cold for me sometimes. But there was something refreshing about the cold, something I haven't felt in a long time.

I was checking my email inbox when I saw an email from Ashley. My eyes instantly lit up as I quickly opened the email.

_Hey Spence,_

_Hope things are going fine over there. Sorry I wasn't there to send you off. But anyway, Happy 24__th__ birthday! May your wishes come true. Have fun celebrating. _

_Missing you,  
Ash. _

Ashley never forgets my birthday. No matter where she was, she would make sure her greeting gets to me. She would make sure that her wishes for me get to me every year.

And that was what happened for the next two or so years. Emails from her to wish me a happy birthday, a merry Christmas and a happy new year. And vice-versa. Our communication was kept to the bare minimal. It hurt too much to think about her, and I guess she felt the same way about me.

* * *

I constantly thought about Ashley, it was nearly impossible to stop thinking of her. I would think about that fateful day I found the ring, the times we spent snuggling up to each other on the bed at night and all the times she cheers me up when I had the worst days.

I tried dating, there were many wonderful girls that I met at work, but all of them simply couldn't be compared to Ashley. That was my problem, every girl I met, I would naturally compare them to Ashley. And none of them would make the cut. It hurt a lot, that I could not get over Ashley, let alone let go of her.

We'd had just finished the second major film I made here in London, and I thought it was time I took a vacation to go back home. I had missed LA so much, the buzz, the craziness, and so much more. Most of all, I missed Ashley.

* * *

Glen picked me up from the airport. It was nice to see him after so long, and he looked like he hadn't changed much, apart from a more tired look in his eyes.

"So how was your flight?"

I gave him a tired groan, "What do you think? I flew here all the way from Europe."

"Alright fine, how's life there though? I hope it was good."

"Yeah I guess, busy, but good. And the people there are really nice too." I smiled at him. I missed having an elder brother who would pretend to be protective of me.

"It would have been nice if you called home more often you know. Mum was really worried you'd somehow be caught in the middle of a terrorist attack, or that the equipment in the studio would malfunction and fall on you or something."

I rolled my eyes_. Trust mum to be dramatic._

"Yeah yeah. When I go back to London I will try to remember. Right now, I just want to go home and crash."

* * *

It probably took me two hours, sitting on my bed, before I decided to go over to Ashley's. This was my second day after I arrived at LA the night before. I had asked Glen if she had moved, and he told me that the last time he saw her was about six months ago, at Aiden's birthday dinner, and she was still living at the loft at that point of time.

I didn't really know what to expect. Would she still be the same? Would she have a girlfriend? Would she even be at home? I tried to push all those thoughts to the back of my mind. I wanted to surprise Ashley, so I didn't call her before I went over.

I stood outside the door, the same door I had left almost three years ago, the same door that I used to have the keys to. I took a huge breath, before pressing on the door bell.

The door opened, and I found myself slightly surprised by the person who was standing right in front of me.

"Spencer!" She immediately gave me a hug, which I was only too happy to return. We stood there, embracing each other for God knows how long, before she invited me inside.

She looked different, more mature perhaps. Her hair seemed to have gone a lighter brown, even though the highlights still remained. She looked radiant, her skin more tanned than I remembered, and her hair a lot softer looking. Perhaps it was just the ten o'clock sunshine. She wasn't wearing much, just her lingerie, and a robe to cover everything else. It was obvious she had woken up not long ago.

"I missed you, Ashley." I gave her a hug again. It was nice to be able to feel her again, even if it may not be the same as three years ago. I was almost tempted to kiss her lips, but I stopped myself in time, when I realized that we weren't together anymore.

She gave me a huge grin. "So what are you doing back in LA?"

"Oh, I'm just on vacation, I'll be going back soon. I really missed LA, and this place." I looked around the loft. It hasn't changed much, except for a few new pieces of furniture, and the television. It has gotten even bigger.

"So you're staying with your parents I guess?"

"Yeah, it was between that or the hotel, so yeah."

"How are you? Doing well?" She asked, her look nothing short of concern.

"Yeah yeah, London's been very nice to me actually. And the films have been received fairly well over there too."

She smiled before saying, "Well that's good, haha aren't you glad that you went to London? I've seen your films too, and they are great. It was a good choice, to go there."

I wasn't sure if she really meant it. So I gave a neutral reply, simply nodding. "What about you?"

"Same. Still writing songs. And I've been working as a producer for quite a while also. It's nice to get involved in the songs I wrote, and see them materialize, in the form of some other artiste."

There was an awkward silence as I fought to find more words to say, but somehow, I couldn't. I got lost looking into Ashley's deep brown eyes, memories just kept flooding my mind, memories of her.

"I missed you. I'm really glad to see you again." Her voice was soft and gentle. Almost like she couldn't bear to say it.

I smiled. "Yeah."

There was definitely still the unresolved tension left 3 years ago. Perhaps it was just me, but I think we both didn't dare to say much as we did not want to start hurting again. So I just continued rambling about life in London, while she filled me in on the things I'd missed in LA.

* * *

"How long are yo-", Ashley was cut off by someone calling her name from her bedroom.

"Ashley?" The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite put my finger on where I've heard it before. Perhaps it was just Kyla.

We both turned to face the source of the voice, who had auburn shoulder length hair, and was dressed very much like Ashley. I immediately recognized the face, it was Sarah Blackwell. I froze.

"Hey! Come over here, I want you to meet my friend." Ashley said, oblivious to the fact that I was still pretty much in shock. Sarah Blackwell was a famous rock singer/songwriter, who had always admired Ashley's songs. Ashley used to talk to me about Sarah, and how much Sarah had wanted to collaborate with her to produce her sophomore album. Judging by her clothing (or rather, lack of clothing), and the fact that she was in Ashley's bedroom, I guessed that they were more than just music collaborators.

She had a tired look on her face, as she walked towards us, and sat herself down on the couch opposite me and Ashley. She looked warmly at me, before saying, "Oh hello! I'm Sarah."

I nodded my head and smiled. "Hey, I'm Spencer. Nice to meet you." To be honest, it was quite hard to force that smile out, and pretend that I actually wanted to know her, but Ashley's earnestness in wanting me to know Sarah got the better of me.

She gave a knowing look at Ashley before saying, "Oh, you're Spencer. Ashley has told me so much about you."

"Uh, not so much really." Ashley said, looking slightly uncomfortable.

Ashley continued, "Yeah, anyway, Sarah and I are seeing each other." She looked at me in the eyes, and for a brief moment, I saw guilt flash across her eyes. The reality of her words hit me right in the face, and it hurt, it really hurt.

"Oh, that's great." I said lamely. It was obvious my words weren't sincere at all, but I didn't care.

"Thanks. Sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I didn't know why we didn't talk about it in the first place." I guess she could tell how I was feeling from my expression, which hung very blatantly on my face.

I nodded.

"Ashley has shown me your films before, I think they are great, especially that documentary you made about teenage suicide cases." Sarah tried to make conversation.

"Oh." I was slightly surprised. "Well, I'm glad there are people who watch them! Thanks anyway." I gave a very brief smile.

More silence.

"I think I should go wash up, will you be joining us for lunch?" Sarah looked at me, before looking at Ashley, then back at me again.

"Uh." I didn't know how to respond.

"Yeah, I'll be cooking today. You can see if it has gotten any better. " Ashley laughed. I smiled too.

"Okay, why not?" I grinned at her, secretly hoping she could see the pain in my eyes.

* * *

Sarah had already gone back to the bathroom to wash up. And once again I was alone with Ashley. I looked down. I didn't know what to say. Ashley was nervously playing with the hem of her bathrobe.

"How long have you two been dating?" I asked her. My eyes still on the ground.

"About four months."

"Oh. I see."

"Spence, please. Don't be like this. It hurts." Ashley placed her hand on my jaw, and lifted my face so that my eyes met hers.

I was on the verge of tears. I wanted so much to just tell Ashley how much I wanted her, wanted her back in my life, needed her, loved her, missed her.

"You know, I never got over you. I never could let go of you. I tried so hard to, but I simply couldn't. I was hoping that by coming down here, I would be able to try to work things out with you, but I guess it's too late, again." I refused to look at her in the eye. It brought back too many memories.

"I'm sorry Spence. I really am. I never meant for you to meet Sarah like that... And I'll never let go of you, you know that. " This time, it was her turn to look down. I didn't want to try to pretend that things will go back to how it used to be anymore. Because it won't. Too many things have changed. I should try to be happy for Ashley instead.

"I'm glad you found someone you love. Really. It's great that you have." I forced those words out of mouth. It tasted bitter.

She didn't say anything for a moment.

"Do you really mean that? Please don't say that if you don't." She looked at me.

"Yes." I said softly. Truth be told, even I myself didn't know whether I was lying or telling the truth.

I had to ask her this. "Are you in love with her?"

"I don't know." Ashley simply shook her head in frustration.

* * *

I went home after the lunch with Ashley and Sarah. It hurt too much to see them together. Ashley looked slightly disappointed when I said I was leaving, but I told her she could call me if she wanted to talk to me, or see me again.

I knew it was wishful thinking, hoping that Ashley and I will be back together. But seeing Sarah was something I didn't expect, perhaps I did expect Ashley to get another girlfriend, but not one as successful and famous as Sarah.

Ashley called me the next day, asking if I wanted to go out with her, anywhere. She sounded rather excited, and I didn't have the heart to reject her offer, so I agreed. Besides, I didn't exactly want to stay at home for another day; it would make such an uninteresting vacation.

* * *

Ashley came and picked me up after lunch. She asked me where I wanted to go, and I just told her go wherever she wanted to go. So we just sat silently in the car as she drove. But it wasn't the kind of silence that I was used to, being with Ashley. We used to be able to sit next to each other and snuggle up on the couch and enjoy each other's company, without having to say any word. But now, the silence was awkward, uncomfortable, and most of all, deafening. It felt strange and foreign.

She drove us to the beach. The same beach that we ditched school to come to ten years ago. Our first date, as Ashley had said. And my confession to her.

We were obviously not dressed for the beach, so we just sat down at where we had sat down so many years ago, under the boardwalk, against the wooden pillars. It has not changed much actually, and for a moment, I felt like we were 16 again. I wished I was 16 again.

"You still remember this place." I told Ashley.

"I'll never forget this place, you know that." Her eyes were looking at the deep blue ocean. I knew Ashley wouldn't, I knew this place meant as much to me as it did to her.

I smiled at what Ashley had said. "Yeah."

"I still come here once in a while, to get some inspiration for my songs."

"Oh."

"I'm glad that you came back and looked for me. It means a lot to me." She said.

"Yeah, me too."

Ashley paused for a second before saying, "Do you want to try again?"

"Try again?" I had an idea what Ashley was talking about, but I had to hear it from her.

"Us? Do you? Because I want to. I missed you so much Spence. So much. And I love you so so much. Please, come back?"

Thoughts were running through my head so fast, I couldn't think straight. I closed my eyes and processed what Ashley had just told me.

"You have a girlfriend, Ash."

"I broke up with Sarah yesterday." She said very quietly.

"Wow. You're really quick to change your mind about everything. You only broke up with her yesterday and now you want to get back together with me? I thought you had changed, but apparently not." I said bitterly.

"I was never in love with Sarah! You know that. I have always been in love with YOU, Spence. The moment you came to look for me, I knew I had the chance to make everything better, I knew I had to make everything better, else I will never be able to forgive myself for letting you go again. I want to make everything better. Trust me Spence. I will."

I looked away, I didn't want to believe what Ashley was telling me right now. "No… no. Don't say that."

"I'm sorry Spence, I should never have broken up with you. I never wanted to leave you, I need you so much. I'm so so sorry for hurting you, I will make it up to you, I promise. You know you were always the one I wanted, the only one I will ever want or need, the only one I'll ever be in love with. The only one." Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked at me, begging me.

"Why Ash, why do you keep doing this? Why do you push me away, only to come back and tell me you want me? Why? You know how hard have these 3 years been? I've been trying to forget you every single day, but I can't. It hurts so much. It hurts so much to be without you, to try to get over you, but it hurts a lot more to be with you. I don't know if I can do this all over again. I'm tired of getting hurt. I want someone who can protect me from that hurt, not someone who hurts to me." I wanted to cry, but I swallowed my tears back. I didn't want to break down in front of Ashley, not now. I have no idea why, but somehow, I couldn't just take Ashley back like that, even though I wanted it so much. Something felt wrong.

"Didn't you come back and see me just so we can try again? Or were you simply lying to me yesterday? And do you really think these 3 years have been easy for me? Do you think I haven't tried to forget you? To get over you? I was about to ask you to marry me Spence! Did you really think I had bought that ring on an impulse?" Ashley looked hurt and confused at the same time.

I stared at her for a moment, willing myself to say something. "And what Ash? Pretend that the last 3 years never happened? That we can go back to how we used to be? You can't just do that, you can't just say break up, and make up whenever you want! We're broken Ash, and I'm tired of trying to fix the broken pieces back, knowing it will never be the same." My voice was wavering by the last sentence, as I tried my best not to cry. It was incredibly hard however, with Ashley looking at me so intently in the eyes. I could see the pain in her eyes.

Her face was a look of pure defeat. "I'm sorry Spence. I never meant for things to turn out this way. I never meant to hurt you as much as I did. I'm sorry. I just wished there was a way we could fix it."

"Yeah, so do I."

"I missed you, Spence. Is there really no way I can fix all of these?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure if I can do this. I'm not sure if I can stand being heartbroken over you again." I took in a deep breath.

"Oh." She sighed.

"We can be friends, but I'm not sure if we can be anything more again."

Ashley looked slightly upset. "I can't be just your friend Spencer. You know that's not what I want. It has to be more than that, I need to be more. I can't just stand there and pretend to be happy for you if you fall in love with someone else. I can't. It will hurt too much."

I felt my heart break a little as Ashley told me what I had told her so many years ago. "Ash…"

"Tell me you're not in love with me, tell me you don't love me. If you can, I won't bother you anymore. Just tell me that."

I looked at her pleadingly. "Please don't… It's complicated enough as it is."

"Tell me." Her voice was hardened, determined.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't.

"Then don't stop me." And with that, she crashed her lips onto mine, and proceeded to kiss me like her life depended on it.

I couldn't stop her, I was too weak to, and I didn't want to.

I returned the kiss with the same amount of passion, my hands now wrapped around her hips, while hers was on my neck, pulling me closer into the kiss. The kiss, which started so passionately, started to slow down, turning into a gentle, loving kiss. I didn't know what went over me, but I started to cry, I had missed kissing her so much, missed feeling her body against mine, missed the love she used to shower me with, most of all, I missed being with her, simply being with her.

Ashley was slightly surprised when she realized that I was actually crying. She pulled back, hoping that would stop me from crying. "Spence?"

Her face was so full of concern I swear I almost melt at the sight of it. I didn't say anything. I simply leaned in and kissed her ever so tenderly on the lips, pulling her in for a deeper kiss.

Then I pulled back. Looking at her fondly, I said very quietly, "I missed you so much Ash. I love you, and I have never stopped."

She was trying to wipe off the tears on my face, and she gave me a light peck on the lips. "I love you too, so much darling. And I'm sorry. I will never hurt you, never again. I promise. "

She wrapped her hands around my waist, and hugged me. For a brief moment, it felt like paradise. The sounds of the waves crashing onto the shore, the soft light shining in from above and the warmth that Ashley was providing me. It felt perfect.

* * *

I asked Ashley to bring me back home, and asked her to join us for dinner. She didn't want to at first, but she relented after I persuaded her.

The moment we walked in, holding hands, Glen commented. "So you two are finally back together? Well, it's about time!"

I laughed quietly, and Ashley smiled shyly, looking slightly embarrassed at Glen's comment, and my parents' eyes on her.

Glen continued, "I can't believe it took you guys 3 years to figure it all out, and I thought I was the slow one in this family." As much as I hated my brother sometimes, he did make sense, and I was glad for the support he gave me and Ashley.

"It's nice to see you again, Ash." My dad said, smiling. He then proceeded to hug Ashley. "With Spencer, finally."

"It's nice to see you again too, Mr C. And Mrs C." She smiled at both of them.

"Oh please Ashley! Don't call us that! It's been so many years!" My dad laughed.

We went up to my room and sat on my bed, while waiting for dinner to be ready.

"So this means we are back together right?" Ashley asked. Her eyes were slightly unsure.

"Yes we are." I leaned in and kissed her, my forehead leaning against hers, while she cupped my face with both her hands.

Ashley suddenly stood up, and reached into the front pocket of her jeans to retrieve a small black box which only looked too familiar.

I stared at her, stunned, and my heart about to jump out of my chest.

She kneeled down in front of me. "I know this is sudden, perhaps even impulsive, but I have never been surer who I want to spend the rest of my life with than now. And that person is you, Spence."

She paused for a moment, looking at me. My eyes told her to continue. "I don't want to make the same mistake I made so many years ago, I want you to know that all I want is you, all I need is you, and it will always stay that way. I know I have hurt you, and that it may take a long time for you to fully forgive me, but I just want you to know that I will do whatever it takes to make you forgive me, to make up for all I've done. I promise you that. I want to be with you every single moment, because you take my breath away every single time, I want to grow old with you, I want to show you how much I love you. And before you say anything, I just want you to know that even if it takes a hundred years for you to say yes, even if you're all the way on the other side of the world, I will wait, I will wait because I love you, and I'm in love with you." My eyes were filled with tears by now, and I was looking at Ashley's soft eyes, knowing that she meant everything she said.

She opened the boxed, showing the same ring that I had chanced upon 3 years ago. She inhaled deeply before saying, "Spencer Carlin, will you marry me?"

I didn't need to think about it, I knew my answer the moment I saw the black box in Ashley's hand. "Yes. A thousand times: Yes." I wrapped my arms around Ashley's neck and pulled her in for a deep passionate kiss.

"I love you." Ashley said gently.

"I love you, too." I said, as I smiled into the kiss.

* * *

**END.

* * *

**

**A/N: **Okay, I'm sorry for the clichéd ending. But I didn't know how else to end the story. Especially since this was a one-shot and needed a resolution. Sorry for the writing as well, I know it's quite horrible. Please tell me what you think! (Good/Bad?) Reviews would be great! Thanks!


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